I am sure you all would agree upon that after becoming a mother our bond from our mother increases. I always had a different bonding with my father and was so close to him that I used to share everything with him but after marriage when I changed my city I missed my mother more. After becoming a mom I started missing her every hour and last week she came to visit us on one day notice as Moh (my daughter) wasn’t well. While sitting and discussing my life with her we went down to the memory lane. We laughed at some funny incidents, we appreciated some efforts of each other during tough times and then I made some confessions to my mother. Here in this blog, I am just writing down eight of those all.
1. I recently learned cooking and started cooking for my daughter, while trying to give her varieties and nutrition together, I spend 3-4 hours on this task. When I was small I never appreciated my mother’s food, although my friends used to love my Dabba, I always loved other people’s lunch boxes and wondered why lunch isn’t like theirs.
*Now I die to eat food cooked by her.
2. When Moh plays in my lap sometimes she scratches my face in order to turn my face or show me something or sometimes for no reasons. These scratches hurt but I can’t express it to her, I know I might have hurt my mom when I was small and she would not have expressed it in front of me.
*I wish I could undo those.*
3. One day my mom scolded me when I was in 10th standard for one of my work and immediately I left home with my bicycle, my mom asked me to stay but I didn’t and just left home (now I understand that those were teenage hormones, not me). I can feel her pain now when I imagine myself at her place.
*Thank you, Mom, for understanding all those useless tantrums of my teenage*
4. I told my father a few of secrets that my mom asked me not to share, as I said I was more close to my dad. Those revealed secrets didn’t play a major role but now I don’t want my daughter to do the same, I wish I would have understood it that time.
*Still you gave me another chance to keep some secrets.*
5. When my grandmother (Nani) used to visit us, my mother used to urge long chat with Nani but I always interrupted with my work or play or simply being there. I really feel sorry for those moments now and understand, sometimes how important is a long chat with mom.
* I just wonder why Nani still loves me so much*
6. I never liked when she fell ill (till I was fourteen) and “I cared about you” was not the reason, nothing at home was on its place, no tanks had water, food was bad and most of the things in the house used to stop working during that period. Now when I fall ill I wonder if someone will really care about me or only the house which runs behind me.
*It was your life and you had all the rights to rest, still you made us feel that you will rest only if we will allow.*
7. I always loved her but never told her, till we were together now I know how rewarding it would have been for her at that time.
*While you were teaching Moh to speak ‘I love you Mumma‘ I learned it more.
8. I wanted to go with her everywhere she used to go and after coming to teenage I never wanted her to come with me wherever I used to go.
Now I want some me time and I don’t like when my daughter doesn’t leave me, but later on, as she grows up I would like to see her surroundings and friends for that I would like to accompany her to a few places.
*Please tell me all your parenting secrets of making us bold at the same time sensitive towards sentiments*
Mom, you gave me everything by giving me an upbringing which I really want to follow as a parent and I am really sorry for hurting you for no reasons and letting my hormones behave.
* all starred points are something which I shared with my mom after confessions.